the birth of the Duke, part 1

I decided to post Ewan’s birth story in parts because it’s so long. With such a prolonged early labor as I had, there is a lot to tell. I really wanted to document it all for myself while it was still relatively fresh, but I know there are also a lot of you out there who, like me, are obsessed with birth stories and could read them all day long. For those of you who are not that way, this is probably way too long and boring a series of posts, and also possibly too much information. I tried not to be too graphic, but we are talking birth here. Anyway, read ahead at your own discretion...

It all started the morning of July 16th, the day before our due date. I woke up feeling worse than usual - pretty crampy and just exhausted. The period-like cramps were nothing unusual as I'd been experiencing them on and off for weeks, but they were maybe a little more noticeable than they had been. Mostly, though, I just could not wake up, despite what I thought had been a relatively good night's sleep. I actually called my friend Mariah, a mom of two, and jokingly said, "I feel like crap. Does that mean I'm going to go into labor soon?" I had heard women say their energy really tanked before they went into labor, but had also heard that some women get a real burst of energy, so I wasn't sure what to make of this change. I lazed about until my doctor's appointment at 1:20. Her exam revealed that I wasn't any further dilated or effaced from the previous week: 1 centimeter and 60-70 percent. The doctor sighed and said this baby would come when it was good and ready and that that day's exam wouldn't do anything to get things moving. She also noted that she would be leaving town the following morning, our due date, for 24 hours. Neither of us suspected that I would actually go into labor, so I didn't make issue of her plans to be away.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing a whole lot of nothing, until late afternoon when I noticed that the crampiness was intensifying a bit. Then I noticed that it started coming in waves with peaks. It still felt like menstrual cramps to me, not what I had imagined contractions to feel like, but as time went on, they got a bit stronger and definitely had identifiable peaks, with periods in between where I didn't feel much of anything. A little after 5:00 I decided to begin keeping track of them. Over the next hour or so, I noticed that they were coming anywhere between three and 12 minutes apart, and lasting about 30-45 seconds. When Troy got home sometime after 6:00, I told him what I was experiencing, but at this point I still refused to think much of it. We had dinner and decided to go for a walk. Throughout this whole time, the crampy pains continued to come at similar intervals and maybe increased in intensity slightly. Around 9:00 I called our doula to let her know what I was experiencing. She said this may or may not be labor, and suggested we get as much rest as possible. She said any combination of a small glass of wine, a bath, and a massage might help relax me enough to allow me to get some sleep. She also let us know we could call her at any time for any reason. I opted for the wine and bath, and we were in bed and asleep by 11:00.

At 2:00 a.m., I woke up and realized I had been sleeping soundly for three full hours. Just as I thought that the events of earlier hours must have been a false alarm, the pains resumed. I'm still not sure whether I was having them while I slept, or whether they actually did taper off for a while. I tried to fall back to sleep, but the pain was more intense now and I'm sure the excitement of thinking this might be the real thing after all made it more difficult to sleep, as well. I started keeping track of the pains again, and they seemed to be following a similar pattern to earlier in the night, but were noticeably more intense. I stayed in bed for at least a couple more hours and tried to sleep, but couldn't. Sometime between 4:00 and 5:00 a.m. I moved out the the couch. Around 5:00 I called Mariah, eager to share what was happening with someone who might actually be awake. As she's on the east coast with two young kids, I thought she was a safe bet. I then called my mom, who was due to fly out here later that day. I told her I thought I might be in labor and jokingly said that I hoped for my sake that she wouldn't make it in time. (Little did we know she would make it with plenty of time to spare.) She was excited and even more anxious to get here. While I talked, I noticed what I now realized were real contractions getting more frequent and more difficult to talk through. I didn't feel a need to wake Troy yet, but I did call our doula back to let her know I thought this was probably the real deal. She agreed that it most likely was, and offered to come over anytime we felt we needed her. I felt like I was doing just fine, so I encouraged her to go back to sleep, as she had been up late at another birth the previous night. I wanted my birth team to have as much energy as possible for the hours ahead. Good plan.

Sometime probably around 6:00ish, Troy got up and I filled him in on the events of the last few hours. We spent the next few hours timing contractions, eating breakfast, and hanging around the house. I called my friend Amber, another member of our birth team, to let her know that we thought I was in labor and she could come down anytime. She made plans to check in at work and head down later that morning. We passed more time taking a bath, going for a walk, and taking 40 week belly shots at what would be our last chance to capture me at my most pregnant. Troy also went outside and took photos of the flowers in bloom in our garden to capture a taste of nature around the time our baby would be born. At some point we also called our doula back, and she made plans to come over later in the morning, as well.

Amber and our doula arrived within minutes of each other, sometime around 11:00. It was great timing because I was doing fine with just Troy and I, but by that point I was starting to feel like I could use a little extra help getting through contractions, and it was really nice to have people around taking care of other things, like fixing lunch for us. Amber took care of a lot of those types of things throughout the labor - fixing food, keeping people updated, taking photos, etc., and it was so helpful not to have to worry about any of that. She was there to support me through contractions, too, but left most of that to Troy and our doula. Our doula helped with suggesting different positions, coaching Troy in how to support me (not that he needed much - he was amazing, but more on that later...), and generally encouraging me. Things continued to progress slowly and I began to become a bit discouraged that the contractions were still roughly five or six minutes apart, despite the fact that they were increasing in intensity and duration.

More upset came a couple hours later when our doula shared that she had a personal emergency come up that she would potentially have to leave to tend to. She was very torn because she didn't want to leave us, but the situation was serious enough that it looked like she would probably need to leave. She called the backup doula and unfortunately she was unable to make it, too. However, she was able to arrange for another doula to come in her place. So now it was looking like we would have a backup doctor and a backup backup doula. Great. I had to grieve this a bit because I had become really attached to our doula, after having taken prenatal yoga classes from her at least twice weekly for the past several weeks as well as having had two in depth prenatal meetings with her and Troy. She also felt terrible and I think was truly sad to be missing out on our birth. She stayed with us until the new doula arrived and made sure to go over our birth plan and everything we had talked about with her.

The new doula turned out to be great, although it was hard not having had a chance to build the rapport with her that we had with our original. She encouraged us to stay at the house and labor for a while, thinking there was no rush to get me to the hospital. She said that I still seemed to be too happy to be in active labor. Great again.

The hours dragged on and it was starting to look like my mom would make it to the birth after all. We had made arrangements for Troy's mom, Marsha, to pick her up from the airport at 9:30ish. In the evening, we also called Sutter to let them know I would likely be coming in later in the evening, and to request a room with a jacuzzi. They said it wouldn't be a problem.

While we waited for word from the moms, our doula encouraged Troy and I to have a little alone time while she and Amber took a break. She encouraged us to try some "natural" methods of labor augmentation. (I won't elaborate any more on that, but it did end up being a really special time for us). Shortly thereafter, we got word that my mom had arrived and she and Marsha were on their way down to meet us at the house. The next thing I knew, however, our doula came in and said there was a change in plans and we needed to head to the hospital. It turned out a nurse called and said that the rooms were filling up, and if we didn't come in soon, we might not get one and would have to go to Dominican Hospital down the street. That was the last thing I needed - a backup hospital on top of a backup doctor and backup backup doula. So suddenly there was a rush of activity while everyone scurried to pack up the cars to head out. As everyone was doing that, I was moaning through another contraction when my mom walked in. I had to get through the contraction before I could even hug her or say hello, then we quickly turned around and headed out the door...