the home stretch

I know, I haven't posted in a long time. Between being more tired in this last trimester of pregnancy, chasing after Ewan, being very busy wrapping things up at work, and family illness, I have not found the time to post, or just haven't made it a priority at least. Once baby arrives, I will try my best to post when I can, but I know that life is about to get even crazier. As I don't journal or do a very good job of keeping baby books or photo albums, I would like to make an effort to at least capture the highlights of our new lives as a family of four, including our favorite photos and videos, milestones, etc. My priorities, however, will be spending time with my family and getting sleep, so please don't expect super frequent updates!

Ok, that was my little apology and disclaimer. Now, for some updates... I will be 39 weeks pregnant tomorrow! For the past couple of weeks, I have been 1 cm dilated, 50-60% effaced, with baby low, at zero station (for those of you who know what all of that means, which really is nothing when it comes to predicting the onset of labor). This is exactly where I was at this point in the pregnancy with Ewan. I have been having a lot of contractions and cramping and really feel that baby could be arriving at any time, although my official prediction is Tuesday, 11/22. Troy is guessing Monday, 11/21. We shall see!

I think we are all about as prepared as we're going to be. My nesting instinct is compelling me to get a little more cleaning and organizing done, but my physical limitations at this point have overridden that. I've been having a really hard time being on my feet for any length of time in these last couple of weeks, and watching Ewan and keeping up with basic housework is about all I can manage. Interestingly, Ewan has gone through a major shift in his activity level, which has been a huge help. I'm not sure if he's responding to my decreased energy, the change or seasons, or if he's anticipating baby or generally just mellowing out, but right now I think the kid would stay on the couch all day listening to books and watching TV if we let him. This is a huge difference from the spring and summer when he wanted to be outside all the time and could not get enough of his bike. He still likes to ride, but it's far from an obsession. Whereas I had been previously thinking he was a total clone of Troy with regard to his personality, I am now seeing more of myself in him. He loves to take warm baths, curl up on the couch and read book after book, and he's been super affectionate and lovey, being content to just chill out and snuggle for long periods of time. At the park, he prefers playing in the sand with his sand toys and swinging on the swing, and at home he will quietly play with his toys for much longer periods of time than ever before. I am glad he has Troy to get him a little riled up with some physical play and rough-housing, because I am definitely not very capable of that at the moment, although we are doing a parent-toddler tumbling class at a local gym, which has been fun. Anyway, it will be interesting to see how these recent changes play out. It's hard to imagine whether Ewan will end up a serious mountain biker or a Scrabble-playing bookworm, but maybe he will be a nice balance of both. Whatever direction he goes in, I know that we will continue to love him more than we ever imagined possible. He is one awesome little dude, as far as we're concerned.

Oops, I sort of digressed from talking about our preparation for baby. It's too easy for me to get on a roll talking about my big boy. So in terms of Ewan's adjustment to the idea of baby, that has also been interesting. Once we got all the baby gear out in the last week or two, I think it really hit home for him. This happened at a time when he was also sick, and he suddenly got really clingy, cranky, and started showing signs of regression. It really worried me because I didn't expect any of that to happen until baby actually arrived. But with a lot of conversations about baby - answering questions and attempting to alleviate what concerns we were able to pick up on or he was able to verbalize - he has made almost a complete 180. He talks about "Baby Budder" all the time now and it's almost all really positive. He incorporates him into talk about "our family" and always includes him in family hugs. He will ask to "see him" and talk to him in my belly, and even likes to snuggle with him (or my belly rather) and asks the baby if he wants to read stories with us. He seems much more excited and much less anxious, and has crossed back over that line from clingy back to just plain sweet and lovey. I'm sure there will be some surprises and plenty of hard times once baby actually arrives, but I think he's about as prepared as a two-year-old can possibly be.

As for Troy and I, we're at about the same point I'd say. We're both a little freaked out about this parenting two children thing, and about the sleep deprivation, financial stresses, and all that good stuff, but we're also really excited to meet our little guy. When I feel myself getting anxious about those things, I just have to make a conscious effort to visualize myself (or Troy or Ewan) holding an impossibly tiny baby with that perfect new baby smell and then I can't wipe the day-dreamy grin off my face. I know we are in for some challenges, but I also know that it will be an amazing and beautiful journey. So, let's get this show on the road! Bring on the baby!

Oh yeah, and in case you're not on Facebook or haven't seen any recent photos of our family, you can see some here. (The link should work even if you don't have a Facebook account.) And as long as I haven't gone into labor yet, a photographer friend is going to take some maternity photos of me tomorrow afternoon, so I hope to be able to post some of those soon!